Guide for allies : How to talk to colleagues about racism & racial injustice in the news

Learn what to say, do and avoid.

Introduction:
In today's interconnected world, effectively discussing the impact of racism and racial injustice with colleagues and friends is crucial to ensure your organisation's efforts to promote diversity, equity and inclusion are perceived as authentic and meaningful to marginalised colleagues. The media continually highlights these issues, and social media often urges leaders to respond or act. However, it's essential to approach these conversations thoughtfully and sensitively. This guide is designed to provide key considerations and practical advice for communicating about these important topics, whether you're addressing a large audience or engaging in a one-on-one dialogue.

When addressing racism and racial injustice, the method of communication plays a significant role in how the message is received. Here are some channels to consider:

✅ Organisation-wide emails: Crafting personal, swift and thoughtful emails that recognise and address the gravity of issue on employees and the community. This should ideally come from the top of the organisation, followed by other leaders disseminating it further to their teams. 
✅ Manager check-ins: Managers should take the opportunity to check-in with their team members, providing support and creating a safe space for dialogue.
✅ Social media posts and statements: Publicly acknowledging racism and racial injustice issues through social media can demonstrate a commitment to justice and equality, but it's important to be genuine and informed. Do not do this without any other action as it can come across as performative.
✅ Informal colleague discussions: Sometimes, informal conversations among colleagues can be the most impactful, depending on your relationships and ability to create a brave space.
✅ Hosting spaces, virtually or in person: Offering a dedicated time and place for discussions can help people process their feelings and experiences in a supportive environment. This should be facilitated by someone who has a genuine experience and commitment to anti-racism and who is trained accordingly. 
✅ Networks/ERGs hosting special meetups: Employee Resource Groups (ERGs) or networks can organise meetings or events to specifically address events/issues, providing education and fostering collective healing and community.

1. Language matters - name it

By using terms that do not accurately describe the nature or extent of the event, it can diminish the impact and reinforce unhelpful narratives. If the injustice is impacting a specific community, describe the impact in that way. 

Say:

• "This is a clear act of [racism, islamophobia, terrorism, etc.]"
• "The impact of this event on the [name of community] deeply concerning."
• "This incident is a symptom of a larger problem of [systemic racism, white supremacy, etc.]"

​
​Do:

• Continue to educate yourself about the root causes of incidents by ensuring you stay learning about oppression and history relating to white supremacy.
• Read and consume media that talks about the issue in depth, rather than just short-form pieces of instagram carousels that cannot go into the detail required to fully understand issues.
• Learn from sources who represent the communities most impacted.

Avoid:

• Using euphemisms or minimising language. "It's just a one-off incident." “This isn’t about... it’s about everyone”
• Blaming the victims or making excuses for the perpetrators.
• Promoting toxic-positivity through saying things like “Positive vibes only”

2. Recognise emotional labour involved in discussing these topics

Understand that discussing racism can be emotionally taxing, especially for individuals who experience it firsthand. Not everyone will want to engage in conversation with you - especially where there is not trust and psychological safety. Respect people's boundaries and be mindful if they do not wish to engage in triggering discussions.
​
Say:

• "I understand if this is an emotional topic to discuss.”
• “If you're not comfortable talking about it right now, I completely understand."

Do:

• Ask yourself how close you are to the person you want to talk to, and whether you are the right person for them.
• Signpost resources and sources of support.
• Be mindful of nonverbal cues, such as body language or facial expressions, that might indicate someone's discomfort before starting or continuing a conversation.
• You could suggest alternative ways to connect, such as "Perhaps we can talk about this another time, or if you'd prefer, we can chat about something else entirely."

​
Avoid:

• Making assumptions about their reasons for not wanting to engage. Everyone is different.
• Trying to create a safe space with multiple people and power dynamics that cannot be managed. It is often better to talk to people on a one-to-one basis over a group setting.
• "You should be able to talk about this."
• "It's important to talk about these things."

3. ​Reflect and practice self-awareness

It is important to avoid centering the conversation around your emotions and reactions. Instead of just talking about how ‘shocked’ or ‘angry’ you are, reflect on your feelings privately and focus the dialogue on the experiences and needs of those affected by racism.
​
Say:

• "I want to focus on understanding your experience/ feelings right now."

Do:

• Take time to process your feelings privately before engaging in discussions. Use a journal where possible.
• Spend time building awareness of people’s perspectives through reading or watching content from reputable sources.
• Practice talking about it with people you trust and are similar to you.
• Share your reflections with other allies who may have less awareness than you to help educate them.

​
Avoid:

• Steer clear of playing devil's advocate (such as unhelpful comments that start with ‘what if’ and ’but...’).
• Making false equivalencies to your own experiences or that of other communities you feel more comfortable talking about.
• Over-sharing personal experiences that might overshadow others' stories.
• Using "I" statements excessively.
• "I feel so angry about this."
• "I can't believe this is happening."

4. ​Watch out for tone-policing

Allow people to express themselves in the way they want to. This includes showing emotion like anger, and frustration. Don't tone police.

Definition: this is when people dismiss people’s words based on the emotion or tone of the delivery. It suggests there is a "valid" way to communicate experiences. It can look like labeling someone as ‘hostile’ or ‘difficult’ or advising them to ‘calm down’.

Say:

• ”I hear you”
• "I value your perspective and want to listen without judgment."
• “I want to make sure you feel supported and heard."

Do:

• Sit with discomfort if you feel like the conversation is making you feel attacked or awkward.
• Lean into the feeling and question where it might be coming from.
• Practice empathy by imagining how much more discomfort those impacted will be feeling.

Avoid:

• “Calm down”
• “I think people would understand you better if you said it in another way”
• “Be careful, you sound confrontational”
• “There’s no need to be so upset/angry”.

5. Centre the wellbeing of those impacted

Think about whose needs you are centring. Focus on the well-being and needs of marginalised communities when discussing racism. Ensure your actions and words support and uplift rather than harm or detract. Prioritise the wellbeing and needs of people with lived experiences of racism.

​Check-in, ask people what they need and put their psychological safety over the comfort of others who might find it awkward to discuss.

Say:

• "I want to make sure your needs are prioritised in this conversation.How can I best support you right now?"
• "Please let me know if there's anything you need."

Do:

• Actively listen to the needs of colleagues with lived experiences of racism.
• Prioritize their emotional well-being over the comfort of others.
• Create a safe space where they feel heard and valued.

Avoid:

• Shifting the focus to your own discomfort or feelings. "I know how you feel."
• Speaking over or interrupting those with lived experiences.
• Making assumptions about their needs without asking.

6. Avoid seeking validation

One way that 'white fragility' can show up is through your need for marginalised colleagues to validate you as ‘not racist’. This can come from a discomfort of the spotlight being on racism and the system of white supremacy, which can trigger unhelpful and most often unnecessary feelings of guilt and/or shame.
Sometimes white people unknowingly do this by feeling like they have to say something, just to appear as ‘good’ or ‘not racist’ rather than as an intentional ant-racist act itself.

Say:

• "I'm even more committed to learning and growing as an ally."
• “This is a continuous journey that I am committed to”

Do:

• Be confident in your own values and beliefs without needing external validation. Ask yourself why you are seeking validation and try to reflect on what more you need to learn.
• Prioritise actions that cannot be seen by others.
• Try not to compare yourself to others, or copy what they are doing because you think it will make you look better. This also goes for social media/website statements.
  

Avoid:

• Seeking reassurance or compliments for your actions. "Am I doing this right?" "I'm not racist, right?" 
• Defensiveness when challenged "I'm trying my best, okay?"

​7. Contribute with real purpose

It can be jarring for people to be viewing or receiving meaningless comments that come across as merely virtue signalling rather than contributing anything constructive. Anti-racism means more than just posting a quote. This is especially the case if your actions have not been anti-racist in the past. 

Make whatever you say personal and specific. 

Say:

• "I'm learning about [issue] and want to contribute meaningfully to the conversation. Here's what I'm doing.../ what we should be doing as allies”

Do:

• Reflect on your intentions before posting online or via email. Are you sharing to educate, support, or simply to appear supportive?
• Consider if your social media or public post is adding value to the conversation or simply amplifying noise.
• Focus on actions rather than words. What can you do to contribute to positive change beyond social media or an email?

Avoid:

• Sharing generic, feel-good quotes or images without context or action.
• Posting solely to gain attention or approval.

8. Use social media responsibly

When discussing incidents on social media, use your platform responsibly and with care. Use content warnings on your posts and avoid direct messaging people traumatising and harmful content to make them “aware”. Avoid direct messages that can be harmful or intrusive. Instead, re-share supportive and informative content that adds value to your followers.

Say:

• "Content warning: [then specify what it is]”

Do:

• Consider the impact of your posts on others before posting - think of the audience you have.
• Check the sources you are posting from and then check again. Make sure they have the right intentions and are not promoting another agenda.
• Check posts for misinformation.
• Share posts from communities affected rather than re-posting and driving your own engagement up.

Avoid:

• Sharing graphic or triggering content without warning.
• Contributing to the spread of misinformation or hate speech.
• "You need to see this” / "Just trying to raise awareness" (then sharing harmful content)

We hope that you have found this information useful. If you use it, drop us a line and let us know how you got on via the comments below or at [email protected].